FRUIT COMPANY

For my VaynerMedia interview, I was given a week to create 3–8 pieces of content for a hypothetical fruit company seeking the world’s best internet storyteller.

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A Slightly Terrifying Vignette About Avocado Toast

I delve into the pages of a captivating novel, nestled on the couch with my feline companion. Her purring creates a gentle, hypnotic melody that lulls me deeper into the story. Hours slip away as I lose myself in the words, blissfully unaware of the passing day, neglecting even the call of hunger. My stomach growls, a stark reminder of the hour.

Dragging myself to the kitchen, I stumble upon Mr. Avocado lounging in a bowl, plump and ripe, resembling a corpulent man soaking in a hot tub. A wicked thought crosses my mind. I grab the avocado and give it a firm squeeze, noticing its slightly yielding texture, ideal for devouring. Placing it on the cutting board, I brandish a knife and thrust it through the avocado, splitting it open with a twist, akin to cracking a coconut.

The sight of the large seed within gives me a culinary conquest. I tap it with my knife, it securely locks, and with a deft motion, I liberate it from the womb-like embrace. A spoon helps me scrape the creamy treasure from the harsh, leathery skin, dump it into a bowl, and dispose of the remaining husk. The innards meet their fate, crushed into a delectable paste.

Simultaneously, two innocent pieces of bread find their way into my chrome heat chamber, the lever triggering an infernal orange glow, their anticipation palpable. As they emerge, toasted to perfection, I adorn them generously with the creamy avocado paste, the fragrant aroma wafting through the air. A sprinkle of Trader Joe's Everything But Bagel Sesame Seasoning Mix adds the final touch.

With a mouthwatering spectacle awaiting, I take the first bite. The toast crackles and yields as my canines descend, engaging in an epic battle with the textures. A symphony of flavors dances on my taste buds as the wreckage of the feast drops down my throat, leaving only satisfying crumbs in its wake. A victorious belch escapes my lips—undoubtedly, that was some epic avocado toast.

Celebrity Endorsement

Harry Styles would be the perfect celebrity partner. His latest album includes a multitude of references to various fruits. He is flamboyant, colorful, and a likable human being. Which is very much on-brand with us. I could see us packaging a Harry Styles recipe/meal for our customers.